Doctors, Treadmills & Vacation, Oh Crap! January 16, 2007

One of my New Year’s resolutions was to stay out of doctor’s offices in 2007.  So far I’ve been to the pediatrician twice and to the “Pain Specialist” once and it’s only the freakin’ 16th of January!  My kids seem to pass colds and other gunk back and forth like pogs.  As for me, while I avoided seeing the doctor for my own violent cold, my neck went out last week, sending me for a steroid epidural.  This will have to be followed up by a visit to my orthopedic surgeon next week, who will likely send me for an MRI to see if there is further damage.    All I can say is that at least the drugs are sort of pleasantly numbing.

 This, of course, has not done much for my pursuit of improving my body in other ways – i.e. exercise and weight loss.  First off, doctor’s appointments take up time I could be spending working out. As it stands, I won’t get to the gym this week until Thursday, which is ridiculous.  I guess I need to start using my home treadmill in the morning. It’s annoying that the pain drugs make me dopey in the morning, but if I turn on a light then I generally can get functioning. 

A week from Saturday I am meeting up with a group of generally thin women at a plush spa in Wisconsin for our annual girl’s weekend.  The idea of being bathing suit clad makes me break out in hives.  In about 6 weeks I’ll be visiting my folks in Florida for a whole week.  Lord help me.  Maybe panic will get me out of bed tomorrow morning?

7 Years Married January 6, 2007

My 7th wedding anniversary is on Monday.  Hubby and I have plans to have a lovely dinner.  We have a babysitter.  I have a cold.  Which means mouth breathing and you know that is OH so attractive!

It is hard for me to believe that we have been married for 7 years.  That seems like a mighty hefty chunk of time.  We met nearly 8 years ago – on Valentines Day, 1999.  We were both guests at my “Gay-Husband’s” (GH) birthday party.  I had a cold on that day too, come to think of it.  I almost didn’t go to the party because of it.  I couldn’t get my contact lenses in so I wore my glasses.  I decided that even though I was a little sick, I might as well go to the party and get my mind off of it, rather than sit around the house.

The party was at a restaurant in Lincoln Park called “My Pie”.  There were about 20 guests, all of whom were already seated.  I apparently had the time wrong and so I was nearly an hour late.  GH called me a dumb bitch, gave me a kiss and sat me down next to him.  Across from us sat a man I had never seen before.  He was attractive in that married-guy kind of way.  Red button down broadcloth shirt, jeans, conservative hair.  I looked at him and thought to my self “That guy looks like exactly the kind of guy I’d like to be married to. It figures that he’s already taken”.   He was seated next to a pretty girl, who I assumed was his girlfriend.

Dinner progressed with pizza and beer.  As the party was getting ready to shift over to “Side Tracks” – a gay bar in Boys Town – I quickly downed a little more cold medicine right out of the bottle.  This caught the attention of the cute husband type across from me.  “Don’t you like to measure it first?” he asked.  To which I replied “I think I know what 2 tablespoons feels like in my mouth”.  I swear I didn’t mean that to sound as dirty as it did, but since it was out there I ran with it.   Cute husband type raised his eyebrows and laughed and proceeded to get up from the table as everyone was fixing to leave.

So as everyone was planning the drive over to Side Tracked, the pretty girl who had been sitting next to Cute Husband Type left.  Clearly she was not Cute Husband Type’s girlfriend. He was single!!! Fast forward 3 hours and several more beers later, and Cute Husband Type and I were smooching.  In a gay bar.  (Very uncool).  We were engaged 3 months later and married 7 months after that. 

He’s a great husband.  A wonderful father.  He has his quirks and he’s not perfect, but he’s my partner in crime and I love him dearly.

Progress and Frustration January 4, 2007

The past two days I have made it to the Y and I have had really really good workouts.  Yesterday, 40 minutes on the treadmill with a respectable incline and today on the elliptical for 40.  I felt really good afterwards, both physically and emotionally.  I will be back tomorrow. 

That said, the food thing…oy.  I am having the hardest time with this. I start out strong and as the day goes on it gets harder and harder to keep crap out of my mouth!  I am certainly doing better than before I resolved to get this weight under control.  However, truth be told, I was completely out of control.  I guess I should be glad that there is, at least, a modicum of control now.  I’m such an all-or-nothing person that “pretty good” is hard for me. (I have had a fair amount of therapy regarding this.  Other things too, but the all-or-nothing thing is definitely a tough spot).

I refuse to give up, but every time I pop a cracker in my mouth that isn’t part of the “prescribed” plan, I feel simultaniously soothed and defeated.  One would think that I could stop and say to myself, “Self…this isn’t going to make you feel better in the long run” and run far far away.  Again, lots of therapy, but we are still working on this one.

I can make all sorts of excuses, of course. I’m not going to bother, for the moment because blah blah blah. Everyone has stress.  If we don’t have stress we are pretty much dead.  I have to realize that this is a process and the fact that I am making positive changes is as much of a victory as doing everything perfectly.  (I don’t believe this, of course, but I know that I should).

Back to School – Thank God! January 2, 2007

My 3 year old daughter resumes nursery school today.  I got up and packed her lunch, gave her a bath, dried her pretty long blonde hair and put her into a cute outfit from the Gap Outlet.  In 20 minutes I’m going to load her and her baby brother into the car and drop her at school for 4 blissful hours!  Then baby brother and I will go to the Y where I will drop him in daycare for 2 hours while I work out (for the first time in about 2 weeks)!  I will have 2 hours all to myself and even though most of that time is spent sweating and beating myself up for getting out of shape, it will be a welcome relief from these past two weeks of ear infections, holidays, putting batteries in various toys, fetching juice, and breaking up fights.